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One of the most difficult, painful conversations you will ever face is talking to your kids about your plan to divorce. When you know that you will be separating or divorcing, it is important to talk to your kids before they hear it from someone else. Imagine how upsetting it would be to hear it from a friend or another adult. Children will probably remember this conversation, what you say, when and where they hear it. It would be best to work with your spouse to decide how you will inform them.

They don’t necessarily need to know all the details about why your relationship has broken down but rather what is going to happen next.

Let your children know that they can talk to you about their feelings. They may feel angry or sad, but it’s important that they know it is okay and normal for them to feel that way. Children need to know that you will still both be their parents and that you will always put their needs first and love them.

Remember that these are grown-up problems that your kids, even smart and mature kids, can’t understand yet.

It will take time for you and your children to adjust to this huge change, and while you may be confident in the future you envision for them, it will take some time for them to see that future play out. In the meantime, be emotionally present and reassuring. Modelling your own healing and recovery over time will help them adapt and heal too.

Author – Jessica Gooding

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