It is exceptionally difficult to watch your children being emotionally manipulated by a narcissistic parent. It is a complicated situation and difficult to know how to respond. There are a number of steps you can take to protect your children from a narcissistic parent. Some steps will involve just you and your relationship with the other parent, while others are focused on changing your children’s behaviour and helping them understand how to deal with a narcissistic parent.
Some of the steps to protect your child from a narcissistic parent are the following:
- Honesty : Be honest with your children. Talk frankly with them about the reality of their lives, in a respectful and matter of fact manner.
- Education : Teach your children about manipulation and emotional abuse. Try to keep it as age-appropriate as possible. Teach them how to not get sucked into the drama.
- Role Modelling : Be a good role model. Show your children how to stay out of the narcissist’s web of destruction by maintaining your own composure and sanity. Show them how to observe. Demonstrate confidence and strength.
- Managing Anger : Express your own anger appropriately. Learn how to take deep breaths and walk away when you feel triggered. You can learn to have self-control with your own anger.
- Reflection : Let your children know, I see you. Reflect back to your children the truth about their feelings. Let them know you really see their pain and their struggles.
- Validation : When people spend any length of time with a narcissist, their reality, their feelings, and their intuition is constantly invalidated. Let your children know that what they feel and experience is really happening.
- Safety : Your children need at least one safe parent, after all they go through emotionally having a narcissistic parent, the gas-lighting, emotional abuse and double standards. Children need a parent who can offer solace, warmth, stability, and flexibility.
No matter which steps you take, it’ll feel like you’re fighting a losing battle. A narcissistic individual devours your energy until you no longer have the will to fight them. If you can, extricate yourself and your children from this situation. If you can’t, the best way in which to deal with a narcissistic individual is to develop resilience in shielding yourself and your children against the pain a narcissistic parent inflicts rather than actively fighting against it.
Remember that none of this is your fault and that you can’t change a narcissist who doesn’t want to change. All you can do is love, educate your children and provide them with the tools with which to cope with a narcissistic parent. This will all help towards building a better future for your child.
For direct answers to your specific personal questions, please contact us directly.
Read more about our child law services.
Author – Kate Bailey – Hill
